March 15, 2006

Whenever I need to cry I put on Cinema Paradiso and let the tears start to fucking flow. Seriously, from beginning to end. 2 hours of crying. And goddamn it feels good.

I find that Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt" impossible to listen to without tearing up. And the entire Lucinda Williams "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road" reminds me of my worst ever break up (when all I could do was lie on the floor, listen to music, and cry) so occasionally I listen to it to remind me how not-sad I am now.

(another)(Canadian) Jen

Jen, your scale and my scale need to go die in broken-scale hell together. Let's make a pact on it.

2 songs that reduce me to tears every single time are:
My Beloved Wife by Natalie Merchant

Where've You Been by Kathy Mattea

The first time I heard either of them I had a huge, ugly cry. It is a good release.

I don't really cry ever because i am a robot.

This is seriously embarrassing, mainly because I have always loudly professed my dislike for sarah mclachlan, but her cover of "the rainbow connection" on the "for the kids" album makes me cry every single time. It's so bad that i have to remember to skip the song whenever I put that album on for my kid or else i end up in a puddle. Also, "helpless" by neil young if the mood is right. And every song on "50 watt silver lining" by mark eitzel. Okay, i'll stop now.

Do I ever wanna cry? Hell yeah. I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 19, too, and I’ve CRIED. Not depressed much as of late (big thank YOU, Zoloft), but I still find myself kickin’ back with the melancholy now and again.

An aside: as for what your dad said... it's incredibly hard to explain depression to someone who has never experienced it, no?

Songs - dear Lawd, too many. This is incredibly sappy, but “At This Moment” by Billy Vera… it was my aunt’s favorite. WARNING: BUZZKILL: She committed suicide at age 24 and that one gets me blubbering big time. Also, “Purple Rain,” and, speaking of Cyndi Lauper: “True Colors.”

Jesus Mary and Joseph, my mascara’s running Jen!

Sometimes you need a good cry like an enima - to get things moving. I like "Woman's Work" by Kate Bush.

Keep your chin up, Jen. We love you.

Both Sides Now (clouds song) by Joni Mitchell.

Being that I'm not in a stable enough mood to think of cry songs, all I want to say is, "Oh, Jen, feel better."

My cry songs are: Full of Grace my Sarah McLachland and Perfect by Alanis Morrisette. And, also, a million others. If anyone figures out to heal themselves, please let me know post haste. I have been on Effexor forEVER now and am scared to death to live without it, though I have just been laid off from my job and scared to death that I may not be able to afford it soon.

Ugh...

There is a song by Iron & Wine with Calexico that is called Dead Man's Will. Thinking about that song will get me blubbering. If I had a way to let you hear it I would.

Dead Man's Will

Give this stone to my brother;Cuz we found it playing in the barnyard; Many years ago

Give this bone to my father
He'll remember hunting in the hills; When I was 10 years old

May my love reach you all; I locked in myself and buried too long; Now that I come to fall; Please say it's not too late ; Now that I'm dead and gone

Give this string to my mother; It pulled the baby teeth she keeps inside the drawer; Give this ring to my lover; I was scared and stupid not to ask
For her hand long before

May my love reach you all
I locked in myself and buried too long; Now that I come to fall; Please say it's not too late; Now that I'm dead and gone

I have a playlist on the ipod called "Cry me a River." Hey, sometimes you just need to cry, even if I'm normally emotionally bankrupt.

Name by Goo Goo Dolls, There's a Sarah M. song who's name I can't remember that does it every time.

The Dance by Garth Brooks is the worst. I heard a version once with news clips from 9-11 in it and I burst into tears everytime it comes on now.

Logically,if you can heal something yourself the issue doesn't come up, because you already did. None of us is walking around with the skinned knee we got falling off our bike. It is a bit like wondering what the meaning of life is. You never ask that question when everything is ok, because you're busy living. It is only when you are knocked down by circumstances or depression that you ask those kind of questions.

As to what your Dad said. If you put it in perspective:
1. None of us can stand it when our kids are in pain or unhappy.
2. Guys more even than girls feel like they should be able to fix things, to do something when things go wrong.
3. Part of depression (a roommate of mine) is hanging on to things to bash yourself with. (yup, I just let those participles dangle, they can fend for themselves)

So, you took this thing your Dad said and added it to your arsenal of things to hit yourself with when you are down. It helps if, everytime that comes up in your mind, instead of wincing you act like a spam filter and snag it. Toss it in a box with the nifty offer from the Nigerian widow who just needs your bank account number to make you rich.

I have a sizable wad of these old chestnuts usually recognizable because they include the word 'just'. If you would just [get a grip, get up and get busy, realize how lucky you are etc] You are just [lazy, selfish, feeling sorry for yourself etc] They may be old and raggedy but they still work just fine.

Since I have already gone on too long, let me add that when you are alone listening to music is about the only time you let yourself just feel the pain. You are certainly not allowed to get all morose and weepy over dinner. So, you play the songs that let you vent some of the stuff you have to suck up most of the time.

End of tedious long ranting. (See, self-criticism is my meat and drink!)

I love the photo–giddyup!

My favorite cry songs are ones with undertones of longing, like Toad the Wet Sprocket's "All I Want" and all the slow songs by Crowded House.

Hurt by Johnny Cash, but moreso the video than the actual song.

I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders.

I don't like to cry so I avoid both songs if I can. Better to just squish it all up into a little ball and stick it back in.

I'm not sure of the actual title, but that James Blunt song where he's all, "Goodbye my lovah, goodbye my friend...you have been the one, you have been the one for me." WAHHHHHHHH.

You are such a cutie, Jen.

-Lauren

First, a pinkie promise: I solemnly swear that I didn't read this before my recent post. I swear it. Ask Belinda. She can vouch for me.

Second, angsty is the PERFECT way to describe youthful songs. It's a rite of passage to sit in a dark room listening to music like that and weeping with thoughts of, "NObody understands me".

It's less of a provocation than it is a "tease" with the weight loss. Who, in her right mind, would say, "Oh, well, I can't take that then." Puh-lease.

Rock on to "yaz", girl.

The video for "Hurt" by Johnny Cash, for sure.
"Leave a Clean Camp and a Dead Fire" by Juno.
"Shoot a 45" by 764-HERO.
"Precious Pain" by Melissa Ethridge.
"Deep in my Heart" by Tracy Chapman.
"Live Forever" by Oasis(?) because that song would come on and I'd pick up Blizzard and dance with him and sing the words to him and he would just melt in my arms and I can't believe I still miss that cat so much even though he died 8 years ago.
"Around My Heart" by X.
"Golden Slumbers" by the Beatles reminds me of my best friend dying in high school.
"Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" by Elton John.
"The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac.
I'm sure there's more....

YES, Dayment! "Precious Pain" by Melissa Etheridge. Motherfucking brutal... that one plays on my soul for sure.

Maybe thinking about this post warmed me up, but the song Alice posted today totally sprung hot tears.

Great photo, Jen. I think you subconsciously influenced me to post my kid-pic on my site yesterday.

Also, is it just me, or are people commenting on the wrong entries?! Maybe you need arrows indicating which entry the comments link refers to?

I think The Grace by Neverending White Lights is a good cry song. I also have two songs by Kelly Clarkson that I like and believe me, when friends see those songs on my computer they think it's a joke. I'm also a closet Hilary Duff fan. As for Yaz, I think I listened to Only You (I think that's what the song title was) over and over until my older brother hid the tape from me. As for your dad's comment, don't let it get you down. The current debate with my in-laws right now is whether or not I'm really "sick" with depression, anxiety and IBS and if I am then maybe I want to stay that way. Family can be soul crushing that way. Maybe your dad was just upset that he couldn't make everything all better for you.

I've been on antidepressants for 8? years, and I cry at the drop of a hanky. Anyway, my two top drizzle-fests are Sarah Brighton singing "Who wants to live forever" and any Irish tenor crooning "Danny Boy", especially if you know that the song is that of a mother singing to her son. Sniff!!
The thing about feeling awful, Jen, is that it DOES go away, just hang in there.

How about "Just Once" by James Ingraham.

I realized last night that all the music I listen to is sad and slow and melancholy when I tried to get happy new dance and exercise music for a kids exercise class I run. I am sick of the same 8 songs every week but now I need to download something peppy. Some samples of my pathetic sad and on the right day crying music includes Jimmy Cliff -Many Rivers to Cross and the cover someone did of it in the movie Jason's lyric (a movie I have never seen but I did find the cover to download), Beth Orton-ooh child, and Aimee Mann-Wise Up.

oh and I also once had a total sob fest in my car to the Beatles-She's Leaving Home, when I was moving from PA to NC and my parent's didn't want me to move...So for me its all about context.

Everybody Hurts by REM. USed to get me everytime. I have been on Celaxa for 5yrs now and it works well for me. Other than the wilted sex drive the only side effect I have an issue with is the dulling of the highs and the lows. I don't have the super low lows anymore, but I don't have any good happy highs either. I seem to just move around in the middle. I can hear a sad song and feel bad but not cry or see something so wonderfully beautiful and intellectly recognize that it is, but I don't "feel" the beauty. Beauty itself used to make me cry. Like the photo you posted. It is a truly beautiful pic, and I know that years ago I would have "felt" something nip at my heart.

Lately? Freakin' everything 'cause I'm an emotional basket case these days. Normally, The River by Garth Brooks because they played it at my cousin's funeral last May, I hope you Dance by Lee Ann Womack because my uncle sang it to me at my wedding as his speech to the bride, Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne because I'm wierd like that, Lose yourself by eminem although Reilly would say I'm crying 'cause I have a song by eminem in my playlist to begin with

Eva Cassidy - Time After Time - good stuff too...check it out! took me way too long to write this. scary typos...sigh,

Fun!

By Your Side ~ Sade
Fix You ~ Coldplay
Father and Daughter ~ Paul Simon (from the WildeThornberries)
Never is a Promise - Fiona Apple

De-lurking to say that I love the photo! I don't know what songs will break through the robot effect of antidepressants, but the documentary Born Into Brothels busted right through the numbing Zoloft effect for me a few weeks ago.

i don't seem to have a lot of sad songs. quiet songs, slow songs, weird songs, yeah by the gigabyte.

if i had to pick something, i might go with "Angel" Sarah McLachlan; kd lang's version of "Hallelujah"; and there's one by Tom Waits about a murdered little girl that just wrenches me.

Mmmm, the sad song - I got a stable but here are my favorites:

Whether You Fall & Wilting Flower by Tracy Bonham
Let It Take You by Goldfrapp
Green Eyes by Erykah Badu
Lonely Lonely by Feist
In The Round & And Then You Kissed Me by The Cardigans
Save Me by Kelly Osbourne (it's good I swear)
Fools In Love by Inara George

the tom waits song is called "georgia lee"

very sad indeed

Why can't we heal ourselves? This is right up there with possibly my number one pet peeve, the way when certain clueless types find you're feeling truly dismal, usually for no good reason at all but flaky neurochemistry, and tell you, "Snap out of it!" or similar. As if you could just snap your fingers and all would be well and your neurotransmitters would be a-humming, and your serotonin levels would be foaming like the head on a beer, busting out of the neurons and making your brain all fizzy. Yeah, right.

If only depression was like getting a skinned knee! Now that would be something. We could put it on the desired features list for human being 2.0, what do you reckon? :)

Meanwhile, would you believe I've *never* downloaded even so much as a single song? Not once. I don't know what I'd do with an iPod, other than maybe play audiobooks on it. And yet, I find myself lusting after iPods anyway, *because*. Weird, eh?

Hang in, Jen.

i have a different issue with itunes: i've been struggling with the words.
i cry really easily, but stings version of "fields of gold" moves me to tears every single time....

adrian: really? not one ever? not even from the free sites like 3hive?

whoa, all of a sudden i feel all... dirty. dirty and good.

i love this. sad songs are my favorite. sometimes sad just feels so good. even though that sounds weird. the first two sad songs that come to mind for me are 'already gone' by blue rodeo and 'the promise' by tracy chapman. i could cry just thinking of them.

heal ourselves, ha! wouldn't that be nice? perhaps if the hurt was purely internal, purely our own doing, that might in some small way be possible, but we are all of this world, hence we have to rely on this world to put us back together, or keep us together, as the case may be.

Firstly, I lurve you and thought you were just being really quiet because I was subscribing to the WRONG FEED for Bloglines. Gah!

Secondly, I don't have a song I listen to if I need to cry. Instead, I watch Terms of Endearment. That'll do.

Thirdly, my husband wonders why I can't just heal myself and doesn't understand that wishing I could do just that is at least one-quarter the reason I'm crazy.